Letting Go... Being an Adult is Hard.

These past few weeks I have really been missing home. Everything about the beautiful Northwest, I miss. As this fall has come around, I am feeling a bit nostalgic, reminiscing about the life I left behind only 3 months ago.

I LOVE the fall! The leaves change colors, the air is crisp, and smell of the season changing makes me feel so alive. Well, here in the desert we have two season. Hot Summer, and mild summer. It's always sunny, there are no trees that change colors, and the heat makes me feel trapped sometimes. This brings me to my point...

In moving to Phoenix, I knew there were going to be changes I had to make and things that I needed to let go of. I didn't know what those things were, so recently I have been trying to figure it out. What are the things that I will always hold onto that would be bad to let go of, and what are the things that I need to let go of in order to be fully here in Phoenix, where my life inevitably is now? Tough questions, and I hate growing up sometimes.

I am reading a book called, "After the Boxes are Unpacked," and it's been my second bible. It's basically a woman's perspective on how hard moving can be and tools to get through some of the tough times. The part of this book that I have been thinking about recently is the chapter called "Letting Go." It's encouraged me to write down the things that I need to let go of, while also writing the things that will always be important in my life. So, here is what I have come up with thus far...

I Need to Let Go of....

1) The comparisons I make between Seattle and Phoenix. I love Seattle and miss it terribly, but comparing places will only take me a million steps back. So, the seasons, favorite places, starting sentences with, "Well, in Seattle..." all need to be fond memories and things I enjoy when I'm there, not dwelling on them when I'm in Phoenix.

2) I need let go of the some of the hurts I have had in my life. Whether they happened in Seattle or other places, holding grudges, and harboring bitterness can't be a part of my journey here. It needs to stop now, so I can move forward as a whole person. Though, I'm not completely there yet, I'm trying, and with help, I have hope I can leave some things behind for good.

3) I have deep, meaningful, and long-standing relationships with my friends in Seattle. I have known my dear friends for the majority of my life. Leaving them behind was absolutely one of the hardest things I have had to do. I will NEVER EVER let go of my friendships, however I have to let go of the desire to be a part of their everyday life. Not because they don't want me to be a part of their life, but because physically I can't. I'm not there, I'm not close in distance anymore, and it kills me everyday that when really exciting things are going in their lives I can't be there to witness it first hand.

Things I Will Not Let Go of...

1) The relationships I have with my family and friends. If we have made it this far and still love each other, I have full confidence in the future, that we will be able to keep our relationships growing and fresh. Deep relationships don't happen overnight, and when you find people who know, understand, and love you well, you don't let go of them.

2) The memories I have of the best times of my life in Seattle. Those memories hold me together, give me hope that good people exist, and define the first 23 years of my life. Though sometimes going over memories can throw me back into the world that I am no longer in, they help me remember the times that made me who I am today and remind me, that even when life is hard, God is good, and he blesses our lives abundantly. So for that reason alone, I will not let go of my memories.

3) The hope I have for the future. Whether it keeps us in Phoenix or takes us elsewhere, the hope I have for our family will not be squelched. We are learning, and growing closer because of this move and without it, we wouldn't be where we are today. I can't let go of that hope.


As I fumble and stumble through this journey of being in a new place, I can honestly say that I have hope, I am doing well, not excellent, but well (which I think is part of the experience), and I am genuinely looking forward to what God has for me. I am trying to jump in with both feet, though it's hard and painful at times. I have people that love me, a family who would do anything for me (both mine and Bobby's), and God is good.