Letting Go... Being an Adult is Hard.

These past few weeks I have really been missing home. Everything about the beautiful Northwest, I miss. As this fall has come around, I am feeling a bit nostalgic, reminiscing about the life I left behind only 3 months ago.

I LOVE the fall! The leaves change colors, the air is crisp, and smell of the season changing makes me feel so alive. Well, here in the desert we have two season. Hot Summer, and mild summer. It's always sunny, there are no trees that change colors, and the heat makes me feel trapped sometimes. This brings me to my point...

In moving to Phoenix, I knew there were going to be changes I had to make and things that I needed to let go of. I didn't know what those things were, so recently I have been trying to figure it out. What are the things that I will always hold onto that would be bad to let go of, and what are the things that I need to let go of in order to be fully here in Phoenix, where my life inevitably is now? Tough questions, and I hate growing up sometimes.

I am reading a book called, "After the Boxes are Unpacked," and it's been my second bible. It's basically a woman's perspective on how hard moving can be and tools to get through some of the tough times. The part of this book that I have been thinking about recently is the chapter called "Letting Go." It's encouraged me to write down the things that I need to let go of, while also writing the things that will always be important in my life. So, here is what I have come up with thus far...

I Need to Let Go of....

1) The comparisons I make between Seattle and Phoenix. I love Seattle and miss it terribly, but comparing places will only take me a million steps back. So, the seasons, favorite places, starting sentences with, "Well, in Seattle..." all need to be fond memories and things I enjoy when I'm there, not dwelling on them when I'm in Phoenix.

2) I need let go of the some of the hurts I have had in my life. Whether they happened in Seattle or other places, holding grudges, and harboring bitterness can't be a part of my journey here. It needs to stop now, so I can move forward as a whole person. Though, I'm not completely there yet, I'm trying, and with help, I have hope I can leave some things behind for good.

3) I have deep, meaningful, and long-standing relationships with my friends in Seattle. I have known my dear friends for the majority of my life. Leaving them behind was absolutely one of the hardest things I have had to do. I will NEVER EVER let go of my friendships, however I have to let go of the desire to be a part of their everyday life. Not because they don't want me to be a part of their life, but because physically I can't. I'm not there, I'm not close in distance anymore, and it kills me everyday that when really exciting things are going in their lives I can't be there to witness it first hand.

Things I Will Not Let Go of...

1) The relationships I have with my family and friends. If we have made it this far and still love each other, I have full confidence in the future, that we will be able to keep our relationships growing and fresh. Deep relationships don't happen overnight, and when you find people who know, understand, and love you well, you don't let go of them.

2) The memories I have of the best times of my life in Seattle. Those memories hold me together, give me hope that good people exist, and define the first 23 years of my life. Though sometimes going over memories can throw me back into the world that I am no longer in, they help me remember the times that made me who I am today and remind me, that even when life is hard, God is good, and he blesses our lives abundantly. So for that reason alone, I will not let go of my memories.

3) The hope I have for the future. Whether it keeps us in Phoenix or takes us elsewhere, the hope I have for our family will not be squelched. We are learning, and growing closer because of this move and without it, we wouldn't be where we are today. I can't let go of that hope.


As I fumble and stumble through this journey of being in a new place, I can honestly say that I have hope, I am doing well, not excellent, but well (which I think is part of the experience), and I am genuinely looking forward to what God has for me. I am trying to jump in with both feet, though it's hard and painful at times. I have people that love me, a family who would do anything for me (both mine and Bobby's), and God is good.

Layla-bug is on the move!

Layla is finally walking! After 14 months of life, she has at last felt ready to brave the world on two feet instead of on all four's :). We have been delighted to watch her figure out her new mode of transportation and feel such a sense of pride in her accomplishment. For those of you who said to me, "It just keeps getting better," I couldn't agree more. With each new "talent" (as I like to call them), I am increasingly more in love with Layla and am grateful for a healthy, growing little one. She is happy as can be and getting bigger by the day. Bobby and I are trying to take in every moment because we know how fast those moments fade away.

So, here's to Layla walking!

More California Pictures!

Here are more pictures from our Labor Day trip to California. Enjoy!

California Adventure!

Hello from the Desert!

It's been about a month and I thought an update and a few pictures were in order. The most recent thing to tell you about is our trip to California...

Over Labor Day weekend all of Bobby's family went to Disneyland and the beach. I cannot tell you how much fun this weekend was. Though it was a whirlwind trip, and we only had two full days there, this was one of the best weekends we've had as a family.

The five hour drive seemed like nothing. Layla was a little fussy, but the goal of Disneyland and the beach was well worth hearing her scream :). We went straight to bed on Friday night, when we got there, and woke up bright and early Saturday morning so we didn't waste a second of precious Disneyland time. Every time I am at Disneyland it throws me back into "kid mode." I have such fond memories there and it was so neat to share the joy and fun with Layla this time. She was stimulated beyond belief, and loved it all. I'm glad she was able to experience such a happy place!

The lines we short and we went on every ride we wanted to in no time at all! We watched shows, ate yummy food, and enjoyed being together. It's hard to sum up such a fantastic day, but let's just say by the end of the day Layla was fast asleep in the car, we were dripping with sweat, had really soar feet, and were the happiest, most content bunch of people you've ever seen. We want to do it again right away!

After a long Disneyland day, we spent Sunday at Huntington Beach. I am very partial to Newport Beach and am used the familiarity that beach brings, BUT Huntington was so much fun with Bobby's family! The water was delightful, the kids we so happy to play together in the sand, we had a great lunch at Ruby's, and simply relaxed. There is nothing like the beach!!!

We were exhausted when we returned home on Monday evening, but it was worth every second! It was such a blast to be together, play together, eat together, and rest together. I feel refreshed and excited to do it all over again!

**More Pictures to come!