Waiting and Spontaneity... Not my thing.

Here is the Cullen update!

I couldn't be more ready to not be pregnant anymore. Is it time yet? :)

Today was a very successful doctor's appointment. I went in hoping to plan a date to induce, because that's what we did with Layla, and I got better news than that. My doctor told me since this is my second baby, she thought that my body would do the work on its own before any induction we would schedule. YES! I am 2cm dilated, and 75% effaced, so Cullen is up to something! She helped to speed up the process by "stripping the membranes," hoping to help my body kick into labor soon. As of right now, at 12:30 in the morning (why am I still awake?), I haven't felt any contractions, but am hoping that tomorrow is a different story!

As ready as I am, and we all are, for Cullen to be here, I do have to admit that I would love just a little more time to get my last ducks in a row. Everything is ready from washed clothes to clean bottles. I just need to run a few errands tomorrow, pack a bag for the hospital for me and Cullen, and then one for Layla so she's taken care of while Bobby and I are getting Cullen out! Then he can make his debut!

Certainly, I'm ecstatic at the thought of Cullen being here so soon, but the uncertainty of when just kills me. I know, I know, it's part of pregnancy, but it's hard for me to not have any clue when he'll be here, and oh the waiting!! It's grueling at times. Having a baby is a huge life change, so naturally, I'd love to know exactly when that change is going to happen, since I like things order, haha. The spontaneity of Cullen coming whenever he wants is sure teaching me a lesson in patience, and teaching me that there are just some things I can't plan.

This is such an exciting time in our family's life and I am so happy to be able to share this whole experience with you all. Bobby and I are looking forward to introducing our baby boy to everyone when he arrives! Hopefully soon!

36 weeks of Pregnancy = Please come out soon!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. January is in full swing, and life keeps moving. It's been awhile since an update, and we know a lot more about Cullen's progress, so I wanted to share what's going on!

I am now going to weekly doctor's appointments to check and see how soon it will be until Cullen is here. A few highlights of the last two appointments...

1) His head is down. Yes! He's getting ready to make his debut :).
2) The doctor says he will likely be a good sized baby, and that my belly is measuring a little big. I'm holding my breath that he isn't so huge that I don't have to have a c-section, though my doctor says she doesn't see that happening. I would absolutely do it in a heartbeat if I had to, but I'd prefer that be the last resort.
3) Because of his size, my doctor moved up the due date to February 8th. Very exciting! It means we get to see him sooner!

These last few weeks to me, is the most exciting part of pregnancy and the hardest. I love the anticipation and preparation, and it's also a huge challenge. These last few weeks drag on, and yet, I know he'll be here in a flash. In no time our life will be the best kind of different it can be. I'm doing what I can to get ready for the transition and all the joys and craziness it will bring.

Physically, this has been the hardest month. Truly, I have no complaints, because I am healthy, and have been blessed with two easy and smooth pregnancies. Being a little winded, light-headed after standing for too long, and not sleeping super well, pales in comparison to any kind of complication, so I am genuinely grateful. I will just be ready for my body to be my own again, and not be so physically demanded of. It comes with the territory, and I know that, but it doesn't take away the joy I feel in thinking about belts, pants that button, and tops I can zip :). FREEDOM!

Layla talks often about "baby Cullen" and Bobby and I can sense there is excitement for her in meeting her "baby sister" (as she calls Cullen). We laugh and try to tell her that SHE is actually the sister and that Cullen is her brother, but there's only so much you can explain; she'll probably just have to figure it out on her own, haha. And it won't take long! We are doing our best to prepare her for Cullen's arrival and are including her in whatever we can, so she knows she is still so important to us. I love talking to her about all the things she can help with and do with "baby Cullen." The other day she got very excited because she discovered they could watch movies together, so she grabbed some of her movies and held them up to my belly telling Cullen what movie it was then hugged my belly. It was one of the sweetest moments, and I really think she is going to love having a companion to play with and love.

As a mother, I never anticipated the guilt and grief I would feel with adding another child to our family. And though, it doesn't even come close to the excitement, there is this sense of loss to this part of our life. Of course, we've never wanted Layla to be an only child, but it's been more emotional than I had planned on it being. I, myself, wouldn't change having a brother for anything and am so glad that we grew up together, so I am confident that Layla will be just fine. I know right when I see Cullen, I will wonder how I ever lived without him, and that's what I'm holding onto. Bobby is just plain excited, which is great! Until I meet our little guy, I am enjoying the time I have with Layla and cherishing the little things with her.

The moment we know more, we'll update you! We can't wait to see Cullen's face and show him off to everyone! Until next time...


Pictures at 35 WEEKS